sore!

just sore...

day 2 of BBP

easing back into pilates.

but my DVD is corrupt now...so i signed up for gaiamtv.com...for $9.95/month, that's better than any gym membership I can think of!  now let's see if I stick with it!

ready!

an exercise mat...check

small hand weights (5-10 lbs.)...check

resistance tubes (bands)...check

drink...check

sneakers ...check

towel to dry off with and stretch on...check

weight training gloves (optional) ?.."weight training"...i only have kickboxing gloves.  they don't sound the same

EFFORT!...darn tootin!

i research jcfb, watch youtube videos that i found. why is the guy who runs the place this tenant at westside station condos who i keep running into?  wow.  jc is a small place.

tomorrow...

 BOOTCAMP at 545a! 

F*kkk yaaa!

so it seems...

formula for success:  double the rate of failure

i need to f*k up more!

it's the sweet, little things that give me so much joy...

slow real estate weekend.

maja - visiting family for the day.

and i'm alone with my guitar,

music,

and ice cream in the freezer.

sweet!

ha ha, sorry!

that was intended for a former lover.

delete!

i don't like weddings

don't torture me.

i should reeeeally be doing my taxes!

Devils vs Rangers - my 1st hockey game.

Devs won!

maja is so looking forward to take me to a sports event today,

devs?  playoffs?  i should act more excited. 

they survived the party,

but not the hostess!

advise to my sister that's worth repeating to MYSELF!

"aim to be the source of his joy from here forward!"

and not what reminds him of drama, misery and pain.

that, and if she should keep in mind, the 3 things...then they should be good!

and I and MY relationships should also be good!

feeling like...

a staycation is in order.

might even break down and do '11 taxes...it's may '12...what a concept!

boo!

my videos won't upload to the only place i dare post them.

not sexy!

i really should try to keep from stuffing myself so early in the morning.

and with tamales and chips!  good grief!

great weekend

mexican party with friends. 

major fail w/ the choice of baking dish for the oven.

learned not to use cole slaw dressing for fish tacos.

everything recovered gracefully.

and most of all, Sasha and I bonded in a big way.  <3

collections #2

not enough for you

not too good for me

just sayin...

entertaining guests

“This Being Human is a Guest House”

Rumi

This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.

A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
as an unexpected visitor.

Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they’re a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out
for some new delight.

The dark thought, the shame, the malice,
meet them at the door laughing,
and invite them in.

Be grateful for whoever comes,
because each has been sent as a guide from beyond.

-Rumi, trnsl. Coleman Barks w/ John Moyne

Words of Maya Angelou on "Haters"

If the grass looks greener on the other side of the fence, you
Can rest assured that the water bill is higher there too! 

People see the glory, but they don't know the story...

numb...

i'm getting good at this.

just signed up for that...

JCF Boot Camp
May 29 - Jun 22

YUM!

i have 130 (120 + 12 free ones - 2 i just ate) tamales in the freezer.

i should be good for a minute!

(working on what to call it)

perhaps if I go backwards

would I get everything right?

if we had only known the end first

could we have saved another fight?

that’s just it!

i would do it all over again,

i would do it all over again,

i would love you,

until we get here again.
---------
i'll sing you a cover,
i'll be your lover.

wish i had someone i feel comfortable enough to share stuff with...

i'm so afraid to open up, i won't even share things with myself.

LOL

ok, that was a joke.

to say it is to admit it...to myself and to others.

something i'm not ready to do?

so it's better to be in denial?

and act like everything is ok? 

eeekyekeyeke.

so ye, i really should talk to someone.

and make myself accountable to make changes already.

stuff people learn out of the cave...

it's "social skills"...not "people skills".

ever crossed your mind who the "common denominator" in all of this has been?

it's not always all about what YOU WANT,

or WHAT YOU LIKE,

or HOW YOU THINK THINGS SHOULD BE.

out of the cave, healthy minded people understand and exercise COMPROMISE.

and DELIVERY is more important than you realize.

and there comes a time when you have to accept "too little, too late".

oh, and newsflash!!!

world doesn't revolve around you!

and people don't exist simply to serve a purpose for YOU!

accept your circumstances and the repercussions of your behaviors and choices you made...

and that, my dear, is called life...out of the cave.

accept it and move on!

Just because you have a past with someone, doesn’t mean you should have a future with them. Just because you miss someone, doesn’t mean you need them back in your life. 

Missing someone is just a healthy part of moving on.

Time to get out of that cave!

yup! pretty much!

just as some people are sexual deviants or sociopaths or afflicted with OCD and can't help themselves,

some people are just pathologically egotistical.

booked to the gills

tomorrow, i'm taking the day off, dammit!

change is never easy...

One of the hardest lessons in life is letting go – whether it's guilt, anger, love or loss.

Change is never easy – we fight to hold on, and we fight to let go.

But oftentimes letting go is the healthiest path forward. We’ve got to emotionally free ourselves from the things that once meant a lot to us, so we can move beyond the past and the pain it brings us.

sigh

everyone is giving me agita today.

hard to shake you off.

wlk&%id$^@%#dfkj

hard lessons

Too often we don’t realize what we have until it’s gone.

Too often we are too stubborn to say, “I’m sorry, I was wrong.”

Too often, we are more concerned with being right. 

Too often we are more concerned with making a point. 

Too often it seems we hurt the ones closest to us by letting insignificant issues tear us apart.

We don't realize how much people mean to us until the day they are no longer beside us.

We don't realize that when we take things for granted, these things eventually get taken away.

my assistant is so awesome!

she makes me want to be a better person!