back to square 1!

she doesn't want to stay!

"i think looking forward to another candidate is the best option for you.  and i wish you will find another great person to work with."

she would have been good, too!

damn it!

cough, cough, cough

please don't do this to me...i need my strength!

how did i predict that was going to happen?

just threw up a lil in my mouth...

TEXAS!

4/12 - 4/17!

and in the words of Brother Mel...

"Pain is inevitable, misery is a CHOICE!"

missteps n misspeaks

you can't take them back

and sometimes they have very painful consequences

redo not allowed either

trying to learn from other's experiences...so i can dodge at least some of the hurt on my way thru the same stuff.

i have all these activist friends...

and here, my lazy ass ain't mobilizing for anything!

i stand for finding cure for alzheimer's.  that's pretty much it!

spazz take 2

the filing cabinet got in the way.

girl friends

video from Feb 2011 - with Phyllis, Billie & Athena

i count my CLOSE friends in new jersey...

and they're all guys!

even my only, one close FEMALE friend is gay!

i qualify new jersey, because i do have girl friends--they just live out of town.

just donned on me...

actually...i take that back...Jen is pretty close...and then my GodDaughter, Erin - to some degree.

a few other 'casual' female friends...but not anyone i really feel that comfortable and/or trust as much.

perspective lane

other people have their own stories and pain...

theirs are not any less painful than yours or anybody elses. 

yet inspite of their pain and suffering, people find a way to remain standing and strong.

we have the power and control over how to react to circumstances
we have the power and control over how to treat other people
we have the power and control over how today will go
as much as we can control tomorrow.

wow!

my mom's thinking really blows me away.

her logic never ceases to amaze me.

saturday

double dose of fun

sirena's bday party at portos.

then neva's gig at brightside.

note to self...never more than 1 dose of z.  :P

it's not a hickie, folks!

calamity carmelita just burned herself w/ the curling iron....AGAIN!

what a spazz!

photos by Jessica

can't figure out my TV

seriously?  is cable THAT complicated?!?

hair & things

ayreen gave the best advice...

make a list of pluses and minuses.

sometimes you don't want to write anything down because it would mean facing and owning the problems.  and validate what you already know.

laughable 'cause it's true!

song title:  "peacemaker"

dress up night!

for the St Patrick Dinner in honor of Bridget!  3/9/12

OF COURSE it hurts! But keep in mind...

here's what 48 years of life has taught me...as it relates to relationships...

there are alternatives and external options for everyone.

don't let your mate feel unappreciated, else, he/she will consider other options for better treatment.

and another thing...

men don't like being alone.  they would rather tolerate toxic relationships than be without someone.

so if he's not coming home...it's likely because there's an alternative, an improvement over the current situation.

and, it's true:
when a man loves you, there's nothing you can do to keep him away,
likewise, when a man doesn't love you, there's NOTHING you can do to make him stay.

real.bittersweet.life.lessons. 

what's hard for us to get is...

when a 'recipe' has proven to not work, WHY NOT FUCKING CHANGE IT?

why no do something DIFFERENT?! you're ideas are what got you here in the first place!

WHEN ARE WE GONNA GET IT ? ! ?

i started the evening thinking: i had everything under control!

then, i put on what i planned to wear tonight.  (it was a no-brainer!)

then, it never even occurred to me...

i'm too fat for the dress!

#timetodiet

:/

2012 resolutions update...

i vowed to:
follow business plan goas of meeting quotas in listings, sales and contracts...check!
follow a financial plan in setting aside $ for taxes, savings and the business...check!

it's only march 6th...let's hope i'm better at sticking with my plans throughout the year!

fell in love all over again!

reunited with my sister, Grace.  we had not related on this level since i was in my teens. 

5 hours of talks since yesterday.

<3

would give anything...

to master conflict resolution. 

all good

talking is good.